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“In order to have things you’ve never had, you have to be willing to do things you’ve never done”

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Friendly Reminder – Forgive

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Letting Go

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I really do think letting go of people is one of the hardest things to do! I’ve been through a lot of shit, but saying goodbye to someone, sorry, choosing to say goodbye to someone fucking sucks. Yes, I am completely aware that I’ve dicussed this topic before, but it’s just so pressing and relevant to my life that I feel the need to bring it up again.

Every time, I let go of someone it makes me realize the amount of strength neccesary to recognize that something isn’t for you and walking away. Nontheless we don’t just walk away from bad situation, sometimes we walk away from good people. The question that arises is why? Why walk away from good people? I read something today that reasonated with me.

Sometimes love doesnt align with our values.

I read this and it was kinda like an aha moment. I’ve been walking away from friendships and relationships with people, not because I don’t think they are fucking awesome, but rather because some of the things they are doing/how the are acting does not resonate with my values. Others might not understand, or better yet, others look at me like I’m crazy. However, it’s necessary for me.

If something goes against my belief system and my values, then it doesn’t matter how much I love you. The issue is not whether I love you or not, its whether I can accept what you’re doing even though it goes against my values.

My friend told me the other day that I’m very principled. I LOVE the word principled, and I LOVE that she associates that word with me.

Principled is defined as acting in accordance with morality and showing recognition of right and wrong.

I believe what I believe. I think what I think. I feel what I feel.

It is harder from me to accept something that I feel in my heart is wrong, then it is to walk away from someone I love because I simply can’t live with that type of turmoil in my heart.

At the end of the day, you have to do whats best for you. Not everyone will undertsand, and its not for everyone to understand. As long as its right in your heart, choose you.

 

 

I Feel Pretty

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I must admit, I’ve been avoiding watching the movie I Feel Pretty.  I really liked the concept of the movie, but I really really really don’t like Amy Schumer. However, I’m currently in the process of watching  the movie and I must say, it’s something.

This notion of self-confidence through mindfulness is amazing. As is the idea that “you are what you attract.” If you think you are worthless and ugly others will too because you are vibrating at a low level. BUT, if you think you are awesome and worthy of abundance then you’re life and company will reflect that because of your high vibrations.

“You know who you are and you really don’t care how the world sees you.” -Ethan

The quotation above sums up the beauty of this movie. It talks about Self-Confidence, Body Positivity, and Acceptance in a way that media just simply isn’t doing yet.

We live in world where the shift to mindlessfull and happiness is dramtically changing into a value that is intrinstic instead of extrinstic. I’m grateful that media representation is starting to capture this shift in media, as well.

With that stated, this concept of self-confidence is probably the only thing they did correctly throughout this movie. This idea on a whole is about the only positive outcome. Nonetheless, I’m choosing to focus on the good, and this:

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If not, this post might just turn into a rant about white societal ideals on beauty – blond hair, blue eyes, and white. Point is – If everyone just abandoned their negative notions of why they aren’t beautiful enough, smarter enough or rich enough, and just accepted that you are enough – the world and you would be a much happier place.

I am worthy of a wealthy life!

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We all have such complicated relationships with money. We’re told to save it for a rainy day. We’re told to spend it cause, well, you know – YOLO. We’re told that people who have it are selfish greedy little pricks. We’re told that the people who don’t have it are humble beings.

I believe right therein lies the problem =  WE ARE TOLD! We’re told by our parents, society, and through media representation about how money is the root of all evil. We’re told that the rich only want to benefit themselves and eat cake. We listen to everyone’s baggage and experiences, instead of developing our own relationship with money. We’re taught to hate it, while we need it.

If we were really – and I mean REALLY – honest with ourselves, THEN we would realize we like money not because it’s money, but because of the things it enables us to do. We like money because we get to be financially free, travel, take care of the family, pursue that passion of yours, etc… It enables us to live our best life. Whatever that life looks like is up to you.

I would really encourage you to think about your feeling surrounding money, and then challenge them. Realize that money isn’t the issue, but rather the people. Realize that a good person can have A LOT of money, and still be humble and pure. This is because it’s not about the amount of money a person has – it’s about their intentions and the energy that surrounds their money.

Say this affirmation with me:

“I am deserving of abundance in my life.”

You are a part of a Universe that is infinite and abundant – think of the galaxy or the depth of the ocean or the fact that if we all died the Earth would literally demolish EVERYTHING we have built. There is so much about this world that we don’t understand, and that’s fine with me. If you ask me, this is what makes the world sooooo amazing.

I am willing to believe that I am infinite and abundant, just like the Universe, just like money. 

Are you?

The Boy Named Jeff

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Yesterday after work, I was waiting for my friend to pick me up. I took a seat outside my office building, and chilled until he came to get me.

Suddenly, I see a guy approaching me directly. I was racking my brain to see if I knew him or not. When he finally made it to me, he told me that he wanted $2 to get something to eat. I responded by saying that I didn’t feel comfortable giving him cash, but if he wants, we can go somewhere and get him something to eat, and I’ll pay.

He agreed to my condition, and we made our way to the nearest Pizza Pizza. While we made our way over, he told me about his life. He recounted how he and him girlfriend are both homeless. He disclosed that he had some money on him, but was saving it for his girlfriend. As a result, he couldn’t afford dinner.

My skeptical readers are probably shaking their head, and asking:

How do you know he was telling the truth?

Honestly, that’s a great question, and my answer is “I don’t.” He could have been telling me a fable, but I choose to believe him.

He continued and stated that he was a recovering drug addict. He appreciated that I didn’t give him cash, and instead offered a meal. Once we arrived at Pizza Pizza, I offered the world, and he only ordered a pepperoni slice and a drink. A grand total of $8.

The boy I met. His name was Jeff. Jeff is experiencing homelessness, but he is so much more than just that one circumstance. It fucking SUCKS. It’s fucking MIND-BOGGLING to know that people are experiencing homelessness in a country as privileged as Canada, and in a city as proud as Toronto. He is a person. There is a whole theory dedicated to discussing how no good deed is selfless because the very act of doing a good deed gives one a feeling of euphoria. The question arises, if doing a good deed makes you feel good is it selfless? (I am totally getting sidetracked. We can discuss philosophical questions later – back to Jeff. )

This whole interaction didn’t last longer than 10 minutes. However, that’s 10 minutes that made a memorable impact in my life, and hopefully I had the same impact on his life.

As a black woman who wears outrageous hair colours and is way too bubbly for her own good, I find it important to show people, especially people experiencing homelessness, kindness and decency. You never know how a small act can effect someone.

With all of that being said, I challenge you to do a good deed, selfless or not. Go out of your way to make a positive impact in someone’s life.

The Lesson from my Ex

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One of my friends used to say, ” Everything is a learning experience.” It used to irritate the SHIT out of me. I would be crying about-how-some-guy-I-thought-was-the-one-ended-up-being-a dick, and she would sit there and nod, while whisper comforting things. Then say,

Everything is a learning experience.

Eventually, I realized she was right. This is why I can say I learnt something from my ex, despite all the shit he put me through. Yes, this sounds like a cliché. Nonetheless, it’s true. Even he knows it. (We’ve discussed this topic in the past.)

Before I tell you the lesson, another tangent. – I used to be a very selfless person.

With that said, the lesson my ex taught me is that it’s okay to be selfish. I always put everyone’s needs above my own. I got so used to giving, and giving, and giving. I forget what it was like to care for myself.

My ex forced me to care about me. He forced me to think about what would make me happy, and honestly it wasn’t until I met him that I started thinking about anything other than surviving. But, it wasn’t until I met my current boyfriend that I started living.

Universal, they say, “Some people come into your life for a season, and some come for a lifetime. Never mix seasonal people for lifetime expectations.With this quote in mind, in the comment section, tell me about an experience where a seasonal person taught you a lifetime lesson.