Thoughts become your Reality.
I really do think letting go of people is one of the hardest things to do! I’ve been through a lot of shit, but saying goodbye to someone, sorry, choosing to say goodbye to someone fucking sucks. Yes, I am completely aware that I’ve dicussed this topic before, but it’s just so pressing and relevant to my life that I feel the need to bring it up again.
Every time, I let go of someone it makes me realize the amount of strength neccesary to recognize that something isn’t for you and walking away. Nontheless we don’t just walk away from bad situation, sometimes we walk away from good people. The question that arises is why? Why walk away from good people? I read something today that reasonated with me.
Sometimes love doesnt align with our values.
I read this and it was kinda like an aha moment. I’ve been walking away from friendships and relationships with people, not because I don’t think they are fucking awesome, but rather because some of the things they are doing/how the are acting does not resonate with my values. Others might not understand, or better yet, others look at me like I’m crazy. However, it’s necessary for me.
If something goes against my belief system and my values, then it doesn’t matter how much I love you. The issue is not whether I love you or not, its whether I can accept what you’re doing even though it goes against my values.
My friend told me the other day that I’m very principled. I LOVE the word principled, and I LOVE that she associates that word with me.
Principled is defined as acting in accordance with morality and showing recognition of right and wrong.
I believe what I believe. I think what I think. I feel what I feel.
It is harder from me to accept something that I feel in my heart is wrong, then it is to walk away from someone I love because I simply can’t live with that type of turmoil in my heart.
At the end of the day, you have to do whats best for you. Not everyone will undertsand, and its not for everyone to understand. As long as its right in your heart, choose you.
Yesterday, I had an impromptu conversation with my mentor at work. I’ve been feeling really burnt out, and unable to find a balance between my personal and professional life – whatelse is new. While I was speaking to him, he said something that really stuck:
You’re doing too much.
I’ve always been ambitious because I always strive for better. I’m grateful for what I have, but I am always challenging myself to be better, to do better, to grow.
In spite of my ambition, he did a really really good job at breaking things down for me and putting things into perspective. He was absolutely right, there is A LOT going on in my life:
There are a few other things happening, but you folks get the gist. He was right. At this point in time, I am doing a lot, maybe even too much. BUT, that doesn’t mean something has to give just yet.
Once he was breaking everything down for me, I realized what I needed – a schedule/plan. It’s so easy to push things off until a later date. It’s so easy to put a figurative pin-in-it and forget about it. It’s easy to say you’ll “do it later” especially when later never comes.
I’m not at the point where I want to dial things back, but I do need to slow down and reevaluate my life and figure out my next steps. I need a plan, and SMART goals, and fucking time management. I need to take control over my life, and stop letting myself get eaten by this day to day hustle.
I love choices and options. My friends hear me say it all the time – why should I have to choose? Nevertheless, I’m starting to realize that there is power in choosing. There is power in deciding what’s valuable, and deciding what you put your energy towards.
I’m not ready to slow down YET because my job brings me joy and happiness; my blogs feed my passion; my courses help me grow; meditation and energy healing feed my soul; and TV, yes, watching that much TV makes me genuinely happy. The things I’m choosing to put my energy towards is making me happy. It’s feeding my spirit and it’s showing me I’m on the right path.
It’s a lot, I won’t lie. It’s overwhelming at times, but that’s why I’m so grateful for this conversation because it came at the perfect time. It reminded me that it’s okay to slow down, to amend your dreams, to take time for yourself throughout the day.
I definitely need to take a breather, but what I need more is to be me – the me-est of them all.
I will create a schedule. I will find time for my passions without feeling overwhelmed. More importantly, I will be me.